Life-changing call for help
After three-and-a-half years of desperately trying but failing to stop drinking, Lorna picked up the phone and called Christchurch’s central addiction service for help.
Our City Mission addiction counsellors are linked to that service. An hour later Lorna was booked in to see one of our team and her journey with us to quit alcohol began.
It’s been a year since Lorna left our Thorpe House residential detox unit clean and while she knows there is always a danger she could relapse, she remains determined to stay sober.
“At Christchurch City Mission I found kindness and compassion and my counsellor’s belief in me kept me going. I didn’t do it for her, but I stayed sober because she made me believe I could,” she says.
Lorna has now fully left our care but she was very happy to come back to tell her story to thank us and to encourage others to take the leap and take control back from alcohol or drugs.
She’s in her 60s and the drinking crisis hit her four or five years ago after she became affected by a serious illness. But she can see now that the origin of the drinking problem goes right back to her childhood when she was sexually abused. Sadly, she says, the impact on her was never addressed, and her “acting out bad behaviour” was treated as a spoilt child looking for attention.
As she grew up, years of self-harm followed including drinking and drugs, inappropriate relationships, anorexia, suicide attempts and as she matured into a successful businesswoman she remained hyper-driven about everything she did at work and in recreation. She crammed her days with action such as long-distance running, adventure sport, hiking, gym - while her mind raced and avoided moments of stillness and reflection.
That approach finally failed when she got an illness that restricted her movement and energy. To cope, she turned to wine which calmed her – “I always said if you want me to sit still give me a glass of wine”.
Lorna says she spent the next three-and-a-half years in hell, promising herself she’d stop on a Sunday and breaking the promise on the Monday. “I lived in secret, most people thought I didn’t drink. I isolated myself and my only desire was to get home to my bottle.”
“I was even hiding it from myself. I used to hide the empty bottles all over the house. I lived alone and I would stand there in the room and say to myself – ‘who are you hiding them from Lorna, who?’
The one-week stay in our residential detox facility (Thorpe House) got her off the drinking and she has faced a long struggle to remain sober, but has succeeded with our support.
Now she is ready to look back at her childhood and try to get closure and healing on what happened to her.
“I believe an angel sits with me and when it gets too hard, she intervenes. My maker challenges me a little surprise each month with but never more than I can handle.
“I am curious and excited for what my future holds. I believe in love, I believe it can cure anything. It is my experience at Christchurch City Mission that the staff and volunteers are dedicated to restoring the souls of every person they meet, they see the person not the addiction, and behind every addiction is a story.”